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Joined: 13 Jan 2010
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Wall Street "Flaming Bags of POO"
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 7:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Wall Street is Never “Too Big to Flail”: Banks Continue to Throw Molotov Cocktails of “Poo” on America’s Doorstep (Next Up – “c**p and Trade”)

Remember the old “flaming bag of poo” prank. For all of you sheltered youngsters, city-dwellers and goody-goody’s in America, here is the recipe:

1. Find a hulking, steaming pile of doo-doo. Any animal feces will do: dog, goat, cow, horse, etc… and for the really sick and twisted – human.
2. Scoop up the fresh, gooey pile of dung and put it in a fragile container called the “paper sack.”
3. Place the seeping brown bag of stool on a neighbor’s doorstep (preferably, someone you do not like or could care less about).
4. Set fire to the ticking time bomb of excrement.
5. Ring the doorbell.
6. Run like Hades.
7. Watch the panic and predictable chain of events.
8. Leave the scene full of pride in the ability to fool the unsuspecting victim without getting caught.
9. Continue to exact childish mischief on other gullible targets in the neighborhood.

As you can imagine, an unsuspecting homeowner finds fire on his doorstep threatening his entire homestead and lifetime of possessions. Instinctively, he immediately stomps out the flame in order to protect everything near and dear to him. Only after it is too late, does the homeowner realize that his shoe is now covered in a sticky, hard-to-remove layer of “meadow muffin.” Once the realization sets in, the duped homeowner is left alone to experience the 5 phases of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and, ultimately, acceptance. Meanwhile, the pranksters move on down the street before the unsuspecting victim can even have a chance to recover.

Like the pranksters, Wall Street banks (the “Banksters”) have been playing the “flaming bag of poo” trick for years. Here is their recipe:

1. Hulking, steaming pile of doo-doo: stocks, bonds, commodities, mortgages, debt of any kind (credit card, auto, consumer), insurance, etc…
2. Put stool in a fragile container: AAA-rated derivatives, structured investment vehicles, “reform” legislation (deregulation, repeal of Glass-Steagall, CFMA of 2000, next up “c**p and Trade”), modern accounting practices, lack of regulatory enforcement, etc…
3. Place the fragile container on a neighbor’s doorstep: use hard-sell tactics and conduct predatory lending to everyone and anyone who will buy the bag-o-guano and are happy to even pay the Banksters a fee for the privilege.
4. Set the fire: hype the media and initiate irrational exuberance (i.e.; dot-com bubble, housing bubble, oil/gold speculation).
5. Ring the Doorbell: entice the American investor to jump on the bandwagon of prosperity.
6. Run like Hades: short sell, dump overvalued assets, trade on inside information, utilize credit default swaps, etc...
7. Watch the panic: witness the crash, recession, unemployment and now a depression - due to Wall Street’s biggest and stinkiest “flaming bag of poo” produced by the housing crisis.
8. Leave the scene: collect a pocketful of cash made before, during and after the poo is removed (commissions, trading profits, bonuses, bailouts, TARP, foreclosure, prepackaged bankruptcy, distressed asset sales, government funded Chapter 11, etc…).
9. Continue to exact their childish mischief on other gullible targets: start over and move on to the next scheme (“c**p and Trade”) before the American public realizes what hit them.

In a nutshell, the Wall Street banking system is nothing more than a spastic, hyperactive colon spewing out huge amounts of manure for unsuspecting American investors to step in. It gives new meaning to the term “Pump and DUMP.”

Andrew Fitzgerald Jefferson
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